For fathers, the first holiday season after a divorce can be especially painful. Even if the divorce was something that you wanted, you will feel the pangs of separation, especially from your children, during the first holidays after the end of your marriage.
Don’t make major plans for the first holiday after the divorce. Sometimes, men go all-out to make a big splash to prove to everyone that they are through with the heartache. Get rid of the idea that you need to prove anything to anyone.
Also avoid getting into a game of one up-manship with your ex. Don’t try to feel like you have to compete with your ex-wife for the children’s love by buying expensive presents. Make a budget, and buy gifts that you can afford, and that they will love. Remember that the children now have less time with you, so lavish them with love and affection rather than gifts.
Know exactly when you’re getting your children, and prepare. It’s important to double check about exactly when the children will be with you. If you want more time with the children over the holidays, ask your ex-wife. Don’t be aggressive, and don’t descend into profanities and insults. That hardly allows you to get your way. Negotiate amicably.
Don’t isolate yourself over the holidays. It’s important to take part in the celebrations. If you’re celebrating at your place, keep the menu simple, invite only a few people over, and spend all of your free time with your children. If you’re already in a relationship, avoid a celebration that involves both your new partner, and your children. The holidays are when the children are really looking forward to being with you, and getting all of your attention. They may not want to share your attention with another woman.
If you want extra time with your children over the holidays, speak to a Colorado divorce lawyer about how you can modify your parenting time agreement.