The number of men who feel that they were blindsided by divorce is much larger than you would believe. According to one survey by AARP, one in four males admitted that they never saw the divorce announcement coming. In fact, the symptoms that people who are blindsided by a divorce announcement suffer are so severe, that there is actually a term for the condition-sudden divorce syndrome.
Unfortunately, men seem to be much more susceptible to a sudden divorce announcement, compared to females. Male brains are not wired to pick up the kind of cues that should alert them that their spouse is thinking of a divorce, while women are much more able to pick up on signs that warn them about impending trouble in the marriage. Therefore, men are much more likely to feel blindsided when their wife asks for divorce.
For example, a woman may have spent months considering divorce, and once she makes up her mind about divorce, may not talk about the problems in the marriage anymore. The man simply assumes that she isn’t complaining anymore because she’s not satisfied. Therefore, the surprise announcement that she wants a divorce comes out of the blue.
If you have had a sudden divorce announcement, understand that this is a fairly common scenario in the United States. In 66% of the cases, women are the one who files for divorce. There’s not much that you can do to avoid the surprise announcement of a divorce, but you can try to deal with it.
First of all, avoid blaming yourself. Accept, that the divorce decision has been made, and that nothing is going to change it. Acknowledge that you are likely to be very distressed and disturbed over the next few weeks or months, and talk to a therapist. Speak to a lawyer about how you can move on with your life.
This article is not legal or financial advice. You should contact a lawyer, accountant and/or financial professional in your state to discuss the specifics or your case and applicable laws.