One type of parenting arrangement that Colorado judges are very much in favor of, and which has also been found very beneficial for children, is the co-parenting arrangement. In this type of arrangement, the parents will typically share duties and responsibilities bringing up the child.
Studies have indicated that children in co-parenting arrangements enjoy a much more connected relationship with both parents, and actually enjoying greater feelings of stability, compared to children who are in other types of custody arrangements. Most importantly, these children have much more access to their fathers than children in other types of arrangements, in which the mother may have primary custody. Therefore, it is in your best interest as a father to push for a co-parenting arrangement in which you will have a better say in your children’s upbringing, and will also be able to participate fully in your children’s lives.
However, these arrangements are not without their pitfalls. Co-parenting can be challenging, especially if the divorce has been a hostile one. If you are a father, who is wondering how he can let go of the hostile past, and co-parent successfully, consider the major benefits that co-parenting can have on the children. In other words, look at the best interests of the children, and tell yourself you will attempt to work with the other parent of your child in a manner that benefits the child.
That means easy communication. If you have just been through a hostile divorce, it’s very likely that even the smallest disagreements will set off a quarrel between the two of you. Try to avoid this by encouraging communication at a time when it is most convenient for the both of you. Communication between the two of you will be most effective when you are free and are not pressed for time. Avoid discussions about your child, during drop off or pick up times, when both of you are pressed for time. This is when many fights erupt.
If you can’t seem to talk to your ex without flaring up, use e-mail, SMS messages, or phone calls to communicate. Limit communication to your child and his activities.
Make sure that the child’s mother is kept updated about all the activities in your child’s life when he or she is with you. Keep her updated about whatever information is necessary like medical issues, teacher conferences and other issues. Never try to hide anything involving the child from the other parent.
It’s also a good idea to have a regular meeting with the mother, so that you can discuss the progress of your child, identify problem areas, and talk about how the arrangement can be improved on.