A divorce can be painful at the best of times, but if you unintentionally make mistakes that jeopardize your interests, the process can be excruciating. Men are especially prone to basic mistakes that can haunt them later.
You May Want to Have Your Own Divorce Attorney
One of the biggest mistakes that men make is to share a divorce lawyer with their wife. Many men want to end the marriage amicably without any acrimony, and may agree to the wife’s suggestion to share the same divorce lawyer. This can be a costly mistake to make, especially if there is contention and conflict surrounding the divorce.
During a divorce, you need someone on your side who is batting entirely for you, and is looking out for your best interests. A shared divorce lawyer may be less expensive for you in the short term, but over the long run, you could end up regretting this decision. Additionally, at some point in time, your divorce may become so acrimonious that you can barely stand to be in the same room with your wife, let alone talk to her. During these times, you will need individual attorneys to communicate with each other.
Also, avoid getting overly emotional, during the divorce proceedings. This is also one of the reasons why you should have your own divorce lawyer on your side. You can use your lawyer for communication and avoid potentially hostile situations. You may become emotional, or may be prone to anger outbursts against your wife during the divorce. Don’t engage in verbally attacks and/or confrontations – this could result in your wife filing charges against you.
Don’t allow your negative feelings for your wife to come in the way. Don’t try to get back at her by withholding assets that you really do not want or need, but want to keep away from her purely because she wants them. Such spiteful or malicious behavior benefits no one. It only drags divorce proceedings, makes the divorce even more acrimonious, and could actually encourage your wife to get back at you if she gets primary custody of the children.
Don’t allow guilt to override your feelings about the divorce. Many men feel so guilty that they simply turn over the reins of the divorce to the wife, and go along with whatever the wife says. Decisions that are made during a divorce will affect you not just over the next few months or years, but over the rest of your lifetime. They will impact not just your finances, but also your ability to participate in the lives of your children. Be an active participator in your divorce, no matter how unpalatable you find it. Get an attorney to fight for your rights. Otherwise, you may find yourself manipulated into a divorce settlement that is an absolute nightmare for you.
Try to avoid getting into a new relationship until the divorce proceedings are complete. If your wife gets wind of the fact that you have a new woman in your life, she could get jealous, and vengeful. That doesn’t bode well for your divorce. If you started a new relationship during your marriage, this was probably the reason for your divorce. Keep the relationship low-key, and avoid flaunting your new partner.
This article is not legal or financial advice. You should contact a lawyer, accountant and/or financial professional in your state to discuss the specifics or your case and applicable laws.